*I am posting this for my followers to read. I am doing this because I need the catharsis of talking about this experience. I don’t mind if you reblog or like this. You can comment, if you wish. But I don’t want any negativity. I don’t need people telling me that I am never going to be in a relationship because of a guy who exhibits man-whore tendencies. If you don’t have anything nice to say, please refrain from speaking.  

Thank you.

My best friend told me yesterday that if a guy doesn’t respect you, then he’s not the guy for you. She also said I was smart (thanks, I think?).  And as I weighed the pros and cons of texting/calling this guy I have been emailing back and forth, I took her advice to heart.

Ultimately, I decided not to pursue things with this guy.  When all was said and done, I realized that he wasn’t respectful of me.  How do I know this?

  1. He was extremely condescending.  He hates feminist women (his online profile mentions his hatred of feminism and living in the Bay Area).  I stated to him that the Bay Area was a famous site of the Hippie movement, and that feminism might have started here in some way.  I then apologized (bad on me, I know), for which he said (and I quote), “Alright, I will let you off the hook, this one time.”  It may not seem condescending to some, but it sure as hell is to me.
  2. He objectifies women.  In looking at his Facebook profile (I was listening to an album he made), he literally is in hundreds of photos with several women. My baby sister who is sixteen, told me “He’s a douche, run the other way.”
  3. He was very pushy about meeting in person. But it had to be on his terms. We had to Skype first, which never happened. If we didn’t Skype, we should call and text each other.  But Monday night, he changed the game and wanted to meet in person. My rational side did come out, and I asked him why he suddenly changed his mind about Skyping or talking on the phone first.  
  4. He wanted me to come his place.  MAJOR RED FLAG!!!!!  When I said I didn’t drive (totally true, by the way), he said he’d pick me up at my house. Umm…no.  What happens if I think he’s some creeper? And I manage to escape him for said reason? He now knows where I live, and when feeling peckish, just drops on by.  This whole thing sounds like I am overreacting, but it’s a legitimate thought in this day and age.

So what happened was my conscience and rationale took control of my body, and forced me to take what had just happened in.  And when that happened, I realized this was happening too fast.  I am old-fashioned in the online dating department. I believe in taking the time to get to know a person before meeting up in person. And because I got sick, I didn’t do anything yesterday except text my best friend and checking my emails via my phone.

And because my best friend has much more experience in the male department, I took her advice. And I realized that every time I thought about talking to this guy, I got physically ill.  I’d never felt like this with the one other guy I’d met from the Internet, and I realized this was a problem.

I just want to take the opportunity to thank my best friend of 18 years (we’ve known one another since the fourth grade) for taking your lunch break to talk to me yesterday.  You will never read this, but you’re an awesome person. You listen to your virgin friend (yes, I am a 28-year old virgin) and offer her advice, without judgment.  There are times I wish you lived closer by, but I promise I am going to see you (and possibly meet your boyfriend) in the next few months. It’s nice to know you’re there when the going gets tough.